Said the foster child to her mother. She was not abused, nor was she neglected, in fact, she was loved, cared for and well looked after, but one day, she decided she wanted to be in care, and would rather walk the streets in the dead of night, alone, than tidy her room. This is when she was taken into care. She lied. She lied to her friends, to her parents, to her school, social workers and to her foster family. She slowly fed them so many lies that they began to believe the “I’m poor and deprived” act. Well, all but her parent’s did. They knew the truth about her slovenly ways, and her lies, and had seen first hand the simply cruel and malicious attempts to gain revenge on other people, when they hadn't done what she wanted them to do. She now lives in a foster home, receives a clothing allowance, £10 a week pocket money, gets as much freedom as she wishes, and has the state paying for her to have riding lessons twice a week at £30 each. I think you will agree with me, this is a fairly cushy life. A few months ago, she decided that she would tell the foster parents and social workers that she was scared to go home, even on visits. She then refused contact with her mother. Six months later, she throws her mother a bone and agrees to a contact agreement of one text per fortnight. She then uses this text to beg and pester her mother for permission to have her nose pierced, and I'm not talking about a normal piercing, I'm talking about a nose bone. She's 15 years old, still in school, and there was no way this was going to happen. Her mother refused, and a fortnight later, texts as she has been told to. Her daughter's news is that she may have her hair dyed next week, so her mother says that it would be nice to see it. This is where the title of this post comes in. This was her response. Her mother responded stating that she did not understand, and the daughter's response to this was "I sorted out contact and that was going well but you pushed it and now I don't want to have any contact with you".
A 15 year old should not be able to treat or speak to a person in this way, and it only shows how far society has fallen when children can speak to their elders with so little respect. This is the reason that so many young people turn to crime. There is a serious lack of discipline, and this is reflected in the attitudes of so many youngsters towards parents, teachers and authority figures.
Something I heard earlier emphasised my opinion of this. How many times have children as young as 12 committed horrific crimes, yet been excused from prosecution as they have not the capability to reason. Yet today, I learnt of a law that had been passed, crediting the children with the ability to reason, and therefore the entitlement to make certain decisions, which were previously credited to their parents, including the right to obtain the contraceptive pill, to dye their hair, to have complete medical confidentiality, and to have any piercings they want.
This, to me seems ludicrous. It’s not that I’m anti children taking care of themselves, but if we give them responsibility on one level, why not on all levels. What we are doing is essentially, giving them permission to disrespect all types of authority figures, and the law. They now feel untouchable as we have given them that power. They are now able to break the law, but are not capable of the reason to do so according to the law, but they can do all of the above mentioned things, and that is perfectly legal. It is a simple case of having one’s cake and eating it too.
Children are classically ego-centric. They may have the ability to reason, but only in relation to what they feel is right and want at that particular millisecond. Why are we allowing the “I want” generation all the power afforded to adults, with no consequences?
In going back to my previous example of the child in care, she is one of these children, that has planned for friends of hers to attack her ‘best friend’ while she watched. She accused a boy of bullying her, which resulted in his suspension, and yet, though there are proof of both events, she has not been punished for them.
She is now in a system, which protects the child at all costs. She has complete control over everything that happens in her life, and over who is in her life, completely reversing the power roles. She now has an attitude of “If I don’t like what you say, I won’t listen to you, and will find a way to make you pay”. Surely I’m not the only person who can see the problem here. Here we have an egocentric child, who is able to control her entire environment. While she is able to do this now, when she has to leave the care system, she will have a huge shock, and then what happens. Mr Policeman asks her kindly not to be so drunk and rowdy, and she doesn’t like what he says, she hits him and ends up in a police cell.
This is how a lot of youths are now brought up. Foster children confer on ways to get the most out of the system, from tutoring, riding lessons, gym membership etc. The policy of social services is to give a child the sort of life and privileges they would have if living at home. I do not know of one working class family who could afford to give their child extra tuition, and two riding lessons a week, on top of sending them on every school trip they wanted to go on.
The question is, why are we letting these children play the system, while so many genuinely needy children fall through the net. While so many children are beaten, raped, starved and damaged emotionally for life. These are the ones who suffer in silence. It is ridiculous that we have become a society where ‘he who shouts loudest gets help’, leaving the quiet and genuinely needy children out in the cold.